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You Can Go Home Again

In Thomas Wolfe’s 1940 novel, “You Can’t Go Home Again,” the protagonist laments at the end that “You can’t go back home to your family, back home to your childhood, back home to a young man’s dreams of glory and of fame…” Today, we might simply say that you can’t turn back the clock. Yet, I find that so many of my contemporaries yearn to go “home” to simpler, more carefree, and trusting times. I sense in them a certain homesickness for their early friends, family members and the predictable roles of their youth….times that they hoped would be everlasting, even though they knew quite well that they wouldn’t. Tell me that you haven’t felt nostalgic yourselves at times.

A couple of weeks ago I spent some time in New York City. I haven’t actually spent any time in the city in a number of years, but I thought, since I had some extra time, that it might be nice to look up someone from my past. I hadn’t seen Marjorie in 24 years. Actually, the last time that we met was at our 25th high school reunion in Philadelphia. And that meeting was 25 years after I had seen her last, at our graduation.

We weren’t close. We had gone in different directions. Girls in high school invariably “hung out” with boys older than their classmates. But, Marjorie and I had gone through elementary school, junior high and high school together, arguably the most formidable and impressionable times of our lives. It took that 25th high school reunion, however, for me to fully grasp how strong the connections still were with all of my classmates, even the ones that I hadn’t seen in so many years. Have you felt that way at your reunions? There was something magnetic that drew us together that summer evening. Maybe that’s why reunions tend to be so popular. For despite, failures and successes, winning hearts and lost loves, there was something in the air that made us all feel that we were back in school together again, that no time had really elapsed, that we could recapture our fondest early memories of simple joys, loyal friendships and exciting first impressions and experiences. Let’s call it the ties that bind, for most assuredly, we felt eternally tied to each other.

I remember being a rather shy, reticent youth in high school, still years away from becoming the kind of man that I am today. Marjorie on the other hand was the class character, as natural, as confident, and as effervescent as anyone you would ever hope to meet.

When I approached the hall where our 25th reunion was being held, all of my confidences, personal strengths and self assurances honed over the years suddenly deserted me. It was if I was 17 again, and not very sure of myself. Fortunately, three of my female classmates, acting as greeters, welcomed me with such an array of platitudes, affirmations, and compliments, that I quickly regained my composure and confidence.

As the band started playing the first dance number, I quickly spotted Marjorie across the room. I’d have recognized her anywhere, because, despite not seeing her for 25 years, she still possessed those same twinkling, mischievous eyes and great wide, warm smile. I made an immediate beeline for her, and low and behold, there I was, the shy youth of old, first out on the dance floor with one of the prettiest and most popular of my high school classmates. Could life have been any better?!

Years later, reflecting on that evening, I remembered how magical it was for most of us, especially someone like me who had grown and changed so much. It was an evening that, quite frankly, I hoped would never end. Wherever I turned there were kind, smiling faces with compliments and well wishes. Who would not want to turn back the clock for such an experience?

I spent two hours with Marjorie in New York that day reminiscing about our high school days and catching up with what our lives were like these past 24 years. It was as natural and familiar as if we had been speaking daily. We could have talked for a lot longer, but, she was off to funeral and I had a museum to see before my plane left.

As we said our goodbyes she reminded me that plans were already underway for our 50th high school class reunion next May. It’s still eleven months away, but I just can’t wait to see everyone. It’s like finding your lost brothers and sisters after being  apart for a lifetime. There is just something so special about reconnecting with them that it’s exciting just to imagine it. The prospect of seeing all of them again warms me deeply. Can you think of many situations today where you might react like that?

As her taxi pulled up Marjorie turned to me and made me promise to be her date for the reunion. There was a big smile on my face as she pulled away. Who said that you can’t go home again?!!