Let’s say you had a “good” date with a woman you just met. You had a good night out together, then you had a genial time in the car while driving her home. Then, as she walks towards her front porch, she takes one look back at you, puts her hand in front of her face, and waves goodbye.
A few days later, you call her up and ask if she’d like to go out again. But to your surprise, she tells you she doesn’t think you’re quite “okay” for each other.
What gives? Didn’t she tell you she had a good time? Didn’t she hint at going out on future dates? Didn’t she give that toothy smile when she waved goodbye?
Here’s the problem — you didn’t read the body language. By holding her hand between her body and yours when waving goodbye, she was subtly telling you to “keep your distance.” And, yup, that’s a sign she really DIDN’T feel it for you.
Understanding The Body Language
Your date’s body language can tell you a lot about how she’s currently feeling about you. Actions, after all, speak louder than words. If she tells you she’d like to know more about you, but her arms are folded, legs crossed, and body leaning AWAY from you, she’s probably being polite.
Let’s get down to the “science” of the closed posture. Crossing your arms in front of your torso is actually an instinctive defensive posture, since it protects the vital organs in your torso.
So when she settles into a closed posture, you can bet she’s not really comfortable with your company just yet!
What you want to see her in is an open posture. Her arms should not be folded, her legs should be uncrossed (or crossed in a way that she’s NOT kicking in your direction), and she should be leaning towards you.
And if she looks at you like she’s exposing her neck to you, then you KNOW you’re doing things right!
Opening Up A Closed Posture
So how do you open her up if she’s assuming a “closed” posture? If you read my blog before this, you’ll know the answer — MIRRORING.
When you mimic her actions a few discreet seconds after she does them, she’ll subconsciously feel more and more comfortable with you. Then, if her arms are crossed, try beginning a sentence with your arms crossed, then UNCROSSING them before you finish. Chances are she’ll uncross her arms mid-sentence, too!
The more open your posture becomes, the more open hers will become as well, and the better the date will go. Soon you’ll be on your way to giving her a great time.
Keep this up, and you won’t have to call her as often — she’ll start calling YOU for dates!