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Top 10 First Date Success Tips for Shy Guys

Topic: Personal Presentation

April Braswell (Click on authors name for bio)

Posted: Wednesday, October 13th 2010

You got the date with the girl you wanted.  She said yes.  You’re avoiding the First Date Blunders.  But what DO you do for first date success for you and your date?

First Date Tip for Guys #1.   Do Spiff Up
Do wear a suit or a sports jacket.  If you are not a coat and tie kinda guy, I’m not suggesting you be false.  However, do dress up a bit.  Do make an effort to look good.  Trust me, women on a first date will be dolling up.  She’ll be wearing make up and perfume and likely a skirt or dress.  She wants to feel you are a man.  By dressing up a bit you communicate your confidence and powerful masculinity.  If you dress down while she is dressing up, you will disappoint her and leave her with the impression you are just a guy when what she desires is to date a man.

First Date Tip for Guys #2.   Do Arrive a Little Early
One of the hallmarks of dating etiquette is that a man picks up a woman for the date.  The still rings true today.  However, often for a First Date in the 21st century women have to take a number of additional precautions than before because of the preponderance of personal information available on the internet for instance with social networking sites.  So, even if you are acquainted with her from in-person offline life, she might not want to give you her home address quite yet.

In person to her home:  Arrive early but wait until the date time to go to her door.  Most women are getting ready and are not 100% viewable until the time of the date.  Don’t go up to her door early.  If she’s not ready, it can leave her feeling uncomfortable to have to stop what she’s doing to get the door for you.

At the Date Venue:  If you are meeting her at the location where you two will enjoy your first date, do aim to arrive anywhere from 15-5 minutes early.  Give yourself extra time.  There’s always an accident and there’s always traffic.  You want buffer time in case things happen.  It can take awhile to get from the parking lot to the restaurant area where you are meeting.  Go ahead and get the table for you and wait for her.  By arriving early and waiting for her, you subtly demonstrate your masculine protectiveness and provision.  Subtly you just communicated that you are a man who can be relied upon by her.  Women crave that in a man!

First Date Tip for Guys #3.  Do Be a Gentleman
Beautiful women are used to be treated like ladies by men.  Display that you are a gentleman.  The concrete ways to do this is to do the social niceties:

Do Open Doors for Her
Do Stand for Her When She Gets Up and Down from the Table
These are the ways a gentleman honors a woman’s femininity.  She will adore it in you.

First Date Tip for Guys #4.  Do Make Small Talk Conversation
Women are often willing to banter in a conversation and get things going.  And you as a shy guy might be that way as an expression of your being an introvert.  However, she does want you to converse with her.  No woman wants to have to carry the whole conversation for the whole evening.  Come prepared to make small talk with her.  Be prepared to converse lightly about your job, the education you are pursuing, your career, and your hobbies and interests.

First Date Tip for Guys #5.  Do Ask After Her
Ask About Her day

Ask About Her job

Ask About Her career

Ask About Her Interests

Modern women want to respect and admire you as a man.  And we want it all.  We want you to be interested in us and to share our lives with someone.  She knows you think she is beautiful and that you admire her beauty.  However, as a beauty, she craves to be desired for herself as well.  Demonstrate that you are a man who appreciates her beauty and is interested in the woman as well by asking after her life.

First Date Tip for Guys #6.   Do Flirt with Her
Shy Guy Flirting on a First Date
Do go ahead and insert flirtation and humor in your date.  For goodness sake, the point is to have a fun and enjoyable evening together.  Do avoid moving too fast and too quickly physically.  Don’t touch her legs with your hands on a first date.  Instead, use humor and your teasing sense of fun in your words and your vocal tone to communicate your flirting with her.

First Date Tip for Guys #7.  Do Pay
When you want to demonstrate that you are a man and distinguish yourself from the rest of the pack of guys.  Some gurus recommend that you don’t pay.  However, you want to embrace your masculine essence and demonstrate your protection and provision by paying for the date.  If she is a feminine woman as well as beautiful, she will sweetly tell you, “Thank you for a lovely evening!”

First Date Tip for Guys #8.  Do State Your Intentions at the End of the Date
How was the date?  Was it a match?  Or was the flow of conversation awkward the entire evening?  Was she beautiful but you two just did not resonate and connect at all?

If you don’t want to see her again, do tell her!

If you two met at an online dating site:

“Thanks Susan.  I enjoyed getting to know you better.  But, I just felt that we are not a match.  Good luck in search.”

If you two met in person:

“Thanks Jessica.  I enjoyed getting to know you better and your goals after college.  But, I just felt that we are not a match.  Good evening.”

Do be gracious in the words and demeanor you use.  Just do also be clear about your intention to go on another date, or not.  You will impress her either way!

First Date Tip for Guys #9.  Do Ask for a Second Date
If you two hit it off and the conversation flowed easily and comfortably between you two and you’re interested in seeing her again, then by all means:

Do tell her: I really enjoyed this evening.  I want to see you again.

Do ask her for a second date: How is next Friday evening for you?  At 7 pm?

Warning About Saturday Night: She’s a beautiful girl.  If you want to get on her social calendar, you better get a slot in her calendar now or it could be another few weeks.  However, Saturday night Date Night is a special evening.  She might not want to give you the privileged access to her Saturday Night quite yet until after 2 or 3 dates with you.  On a subtle level, you have to earn that access with her.  So to set yourself up for First Date Success, do ask for a second date on another night.  Ask for a Friday night date, Sunday evening date, or a Sunday brunch date.

First Date Tip for Guys #10.  Do Kiss Her!
If you enjoyed the date and want to see her again, do go ahead and kiss her!

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell


If you want to get online, get more dates, jump start your romantic relationship or just start dating again, contact April Braswell for her expert Dating, Online Personals, and Relationship coaching. Just send an email to her at:  apriljbraswell@aol.com


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