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Senior Classified Ads

Topic: Singles Humor

Fred Gansky (Click on authors name for bio)

Posted: Monday, August 4th 2008

Thanks to LA Singles Society member Richard Levin for this humorous side of some seniors.

Subject: Senior Classified Ads:
         These ads, printed in a Florida newspaper, show that seniors DO have a great sense of humor.
FOXY LADY:  Fashion-conscious, blue-haired beauty, in 80's, slim,5'-4' (used to be 5'-6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:  Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW:  I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, good food, music.  If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE:  Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob, and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES?  I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the air guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES:  I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION:  Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.  Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

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