Articles

The following is the final part of the 2008 European Singles Survey by parships.com, the UK's largest internet dating site

10 MEN IN THE UK ARE TOO SHY TO TRY

In many ways men in the UK are similar in their attitudes to women, but their long-term singledom is often driven by a lack of confidence. This is compounded, perhaps paradoxically, by fussiness: one third of men admit that they apply very high standards to choosing a prospective partner.
Nearly half (47%) of single men attribute their long-term singledom to lack of confidence, 42% to shyness, 34% to fussiness and 31% to not being attractive enough. This suggests that there are now over 5 million men living in the UK who literally don’t have the confidence to approach a
woman and would prefer to wait for a chance encounter to deliver the love of their life – even if it means waiting a lifetime. In fact UK men are the least confident in Europe.

10.1 Lack of confidence is holding men back 10.2 Men admit they are too fussy

10.3 Across Europe, shyness is a bigger barrier for men than it is for women. For all this sensitivity, men still place more emphasis on looks than women do. One third of men say they would never date an overweight women, and as many as 45% of men admit they could just barely accept it. When it comes to men’s favourite fatty body-parts, 26% say they would
prefer not to date a woman with small breasts and 31% find large breasts a turn-off. A woman’s brain remains an attractive feature: 70% of men valued intelligence highly, with a lower 50% citing looks.

As for boys behaving badly, 27% of men admitted they would date a married woman and 37% confessed to finding a submissive woman attractive. Men still value honesty highly in women (86%), but only 67% attached special importance to fidelity.

Dr Victoria Lukats comments: “There seems to be a very high proportion of UK single men who feel that a lack of self-confidence is holding them back from finding a partner, although the figures are higher for men than for women throughout the European countries surveyed. It's not entirely clear why men should feel this lack of confidence so much more acutely than women, but traditionally the onus has always been on men to
romantically pursue women if they are to stand a chance – whether it's approaching a woman in a bar, asking for a date, phoning to arrange a second date or even proposing marriage. It's no wonder than men
can sometimes feel a pressure to perform, especially if they are less outgoing or maybe shy by nature. Men should remember that although an aura of self-confidence can be very attractive, as far as women are
concerned, attraction has much less to do with looks (a six pack is certainly not required, as the survey demonstrates!): it's the person within that counts.”

11 THE ONLINE DATING MARKET

Online dating services are enjoying steadily rising levels of popularity among European singles. Jupiter Research has forecast growth of more than 50 per cent for the European online dating market in the next four years. In 2006 alone, the providers in this sector achieved a total turnover
of 243 million euros – twice as much as in 2005. By 2011, the figure is predicted to reach EUR 549 million. There are currently more than 141 online dating services dedicated to UK singles. The sites can be divided into two market segments with different user typologies: i) ‘quick-fix’ dating portals, and ii) online agencies dedicated to brokering serious, long-term relationships. PARSHIP is the European market leader in the second category.

12 SINGLES GUIDE- EUROPEAN DIFFERENCES

Dutch singles: upbeat, but tight-fisted and money-minded
- The Dutch are the happiest singles in Europe: 83% are happy being single.
- They may be happy but they’re also the most tight-fisted when it comes to dates. The Dutch spend just 35 Euros per date, compared to the generous Irish who splash out 92 Euros. Perhaps that’s why 90% of the Dutch want to date someone who earns more than they do (UK singles 13%).

Austrian singles: men like younger women but won’t promise marriage
- One in four Austrian men would prefer to date a younger woman, compared to 20% of UK single men.
- Only 26% of Austrians see their parents as role models (vs 45% of UK singles); a possible consequence of this is that only 8% are looking for marriage, preferring cohabitation.

Spanish singles: career is a priority – even over family
- Spanish singles are the most career-aware. 55% invest a great deal into their work (vs 23% in the UK). 37% say career development is very important (13% in the UK) and only 7% think a partner should give up their career to raise a family (26% in the UK).
- Spanish women are put off by baldness, just 6% would date a follically
challenged man -- the lowest percentage in Europe (by contrast, 31% of UK
women love bald men), but they hate body hair more: only 3% of Spanish
women would date a man with a hairy back.

Belgian singles: want a chance encounter with an athletic stranger
- Belgians would love a chance encounter to lead to love: 55%, the highest in Europe – compared to just 34% of the Swedes.
- Sporting prowess is admired by Belgium’s singles: 30% find an athletic body a turn-on (17% of UK singles).

UK singles: traditional at heart
- The British, together with the Irish, want marriage over cohabitation. 29% of UK singles want to have a Big Day – a big contrast with just 8% of Austrians
- Single men in UK are the least confident in Europe; 47% claim this is why they are still single; by contrast only 17% of the more upfront Dutchmen claim to lack confidence.

French singles: looks really do matter
- French singles place the highest importance on looks: 65% vs the UK’s 46%. However sex appeal in a potential partner isn’t such a priority – just 44% rated it highly (vs 66% of UK singles).
- The French are not keen at all on being single. Frenchmen are clearly taking a leaf out of President Sarkozy’s book, with 77% believing they’ll also strike it lucky in the next two years (although maybe not with a former supermodel!).

Italian singles: they fear commitment but love dating
- Italian singles go on six dates a year, the highest in Europe, but they suffer from a fear of commitment, with 29% wanting a string of casual flings (17% UK singles).
- The singles in Italy don’t see smoking as a deal-breaker. Only 32% said they wouldn’t date a smoker (vs 39% of UK singles).

Swiss singles: shy with traditional values
- Swiss men, together with British men, are the shyest in Europe; 44% say it stops them approaching women.
- The Swiss, together with the British and Irish, have the most traditional family values. 32% say that one partner in a relationship should give up his or her career to raise the family.

German singles: confidence is attractive
- German singles have lots of confidence and rate confidence more highly than any other European country as an attractive quality.
- German singles average 2.6 relationships before they commit – the highest average in Europe (UK singles = 1.9).

Irish singles: It’s all about the Craic
- 80% of Irish singles say no sense of humour is the biggest turn off, in fact they rate it a higher turn-off than someone being married (72%)
- For Irish singles talking to a potential partner is very important, 93% say it’s essential that they are able to communicate well together.
- 30% of Irish men and women are looking for commitment leading to marriage from their next relationship- the highest in Europe

Norwegian singles: Norwegian women like furry men
- 42% of Norwegian women find men with a hairy back a turn-on, compared to just 3% of the Spanish.
- Norwegian men are the least fussy when it comes to women; just 24% admitted to being a bit picky.

Swedish singles: the open-minded ones
- Swedes are the most forward-thinking when it comes to finding a partner online:
74% think online dating is socially acceptable and a great way to meet
someone.
- 57% of Swedes like the idea of meeting someone when they’re out shopping; this compares with just 22% of Italians – so maybe IKEA is more romantic than Gucci.

Danish singles: adrenaline in the blood
- Danish singles are most adventurous when it comes to new love. 71% would give up their career for a round-the-world adventure with a partner they’ve only known for four months. The least adventurous are the French: only 32% would do the same.
- 61% of Danes rated intelligence as an important quality in a future partner (vs 73% of UK singles).