Have you ever been talking with someone who was so busy looking all around the room that you just gave up?
Have you ever had somebody stand too close to you at a party, and you couldnít wait to get away?
If so, then you understand what itís like to experience negative body language. Every minute of the day we send messages with our bodies. If we are not conscious of what messages weíre sending, then we could be killing our chances of meeting Mr. or Ms. Right.
The most critical period in any meeting is the first few minutes. That is why I have chosen 3 things you can do to make the most of those minutes. These are the same points I teach my clients, and their successes tell me the researchers are right.
Broadly speaking, a good use of positive eye contact tells someone you are showing interest and they feel comfortable with you. It also sends the message that you are sincere and honest.† This is very important when dating because you have a lot of competition and you may win the women or the man by showing interest and attention.†
If you keep looking away, you send a message that you are not interested and perhaps uncomfortable. If you focus too intently, your behavior can be construed as controlling or manipulative, and just plain weird. If we move our eyes to the right and down, we are trying to access our feelings.
Building a good rapport with someone requires that you keep gaze with him or her at least 60 to 70% of the time.
Remember how your Mother always told you to stand up straight? Well Mom was right, it makes you look more confident and powerful. Your clothes will look better on you with good posture. One thing you do not want to do when talking to someone, is close yourself off. This means crossing your arms over your chest, a defensive pose, or angling and leaning your body away from your date. Most likely, your date will want a quick get away from you.
Now if you were to do the absolute opposite, such as lean forward to talk with relaxed, open arms then you would be showing definite interest. Mirroring the other personís body language especially when it is warm and friendly is a good thing!
Hands on face:
I see people touching their faces more than they realize. For some it is an unconscious habit. The way we touch our faces sends out messages, often the wrong ones. Trying to cover portions of your face conveys that you lack confidence about your looks. Hands up around the mouth when talking says that perhaps you are ready to speak a falsehood, or may be getting ready to tell that BIG LIE about having New Yearís Eve plans already!
I hope this helps as you enjoy the festive party season ahead. Having positive body language ramps up your chances for more fabulous dates.
Lori Ann Robinson
Lori Ann Robinson is a Los Angeles based Image and Fashion Consultant, Costume Designer, Author, Professional Speaker and Seminar Leader.